audio

Asking questions has a number of advantages:

Firstly, hey are inclusive - asking the other person for their view or opinion makes them feel valued and included, and therefore more likely to respond positively and collaboratively.

Also you sound less insistent, less demanding; less directive.  You are seeking opinions, not telling others what you think.  So you are more likely to be seen as more collaborative. In your  approach

Thirdly, by asking a question, you are creating the impression that you want to hear what the other person has to say.  This will help create an impression that you are open minded, willing to be influenced by the views of others

Asking a question encourages the other person to reply – it’s permission, an invitation, to contribute.  So people are more likely to respond – aren’t they?

Consider a meeting you are having, with an individual or your team.  Consider the difference between making statements and asking questions.  A statement, when written down, will end in a full stop: it is essentially telling someone something.  A question, when written down, will end in a question mark - inviting a response.  The more you make statements in that meeting, the less responsive those present will be.  They see their role as to sit passively and listen: they have not been invited to contribute.  Whereas as soon as you ask a question, they are almost programmed to respond.  Do you agree?

So, let me ask you a question “what is the colour of your front door?”.  I’m guessing you have answered that question, at least in your head.  Until I asked that question, the issue of the colour of your door wasn’t something you were thinking of – but asking the question made you think of it.  So in a conversation or meeting, you can focus the mind of anyone else on any topic or theme, by asking a question about it.  By the way, what did you have for breakfast this morning?

Finally, and building on the previous point, if there is uncertainty in the discussion, then by asking a question, you have the chance to set the agenda.  Suppose you’re at a meeting with an item headed: ‘priorities for the next 12 months’.  There’s no more information on the agenda, and no one seems clear about what direction the discussion should take.  Suppose you were to ask this question: “what does anyone feel about staff development?”.  Whatever anyone else was thinking, they are now all focused on that question, and anyone’s contribution is likely to be framed by that question.  So by being the first to ask a question, you are getting the first chance to set the agenda.

audio

‘Drilling down’ means ‘digging down for detail’; probing.  Particularly if the first answer is vague or generalised.  Sometimes known as funnelling – hopefully producing answers that are more specific, more detailed.  In everuday conversation we tend to generalize. For example, if you ask someone ‘how are you?’, you’ll usually get a very vague, generalized answer: ‘OK, thanks”, “fine”, or “good”.  They are conventional responses, because simply life is too short to go into detail, and in any case that’s probably not what the other person wants to hear.  But sometimes we DO want to hear more, and because people are unconsciously conditioned to answer with generalisations, we have to probe to get to the details.  So for example, suppose I ask you now – “how’s things at work?”.  What is your first thought for a reply?  Is it vague and generalized, or something really specific?

audio 1

audio 2